When I was a child, my father worked for the land arm of the Kenya Defence Forces. As a military member, he was relocated to different parts of the country every few years. This meant that there was never one specific place I called home. Continue reading “Home is Where We Are”
There is a couple on my flight that just saddens my soul. The man is at least three times her senior. Why a young lady of nothing over the age of twenty-three would be dating an old white man, possibly in his sixties, is completely beyond me.
While I was visiting South Coast, Kenya, my driver once said, ‘hawa wazee wanachukuwa wasichana wetu wote’ (these old men are taking all our girls) -as if there is a gun to these ladies’ heads. Continue reading “The Dating Game: When He’s Three Times Her Senior”
“I was at a wedding yesterday and it left me feeling a bit sad.” She told me. In her voice I could hear the strain of a person forcing back tears. Her cheeks had started to turn rosy. Her eyes were water. She did not shed a tear.
I was caught by surprise.
That was not how her sentence was supposed to end. Continue reading “I Missed All the Signs”
Dear Christmas Gift Recipients,
Every year before Christmas we’re all excited to go gift shopping. It’s a magical time -shopping, gift wrapping, home decorating, and the list goes on. Then comes boxing day when we are all gathered around the Christmas tree eager for the unwrapping festivities. A few seconds into the search and you’ve identified it. It’s the lavish red and green box with your name neatly caligraphed onto a tag that’s slightly tucked underneath the ribbon. You take a seat and animatedly rip off the wrapping paper. Continue reading “Dear Christmas Gift Recipients”
This is a must-see video for every one of you ladies. And for guys too, you’ve got sisters, cousins and daughters.
I don’t want you when you’ve figured it all out. I want you now. I want you when you’re naïve and young and lost. I want to be beside you while you struggle to stand on your feet. When you’re still stumbling and losing your way.
I don’t want you when you’ve mastered the basics and established your path. I want to hold your hand when you can’t seem to figure things out. I want to Continue reading “I want You Now”
There are so many songs and poems about love. Books and articles are written on a daily basis. Movies, plays, you name it.
But even with all those movies, series, TV shows I’ve watches, books I’ve read, stories I’ve heard, I still find their description of this feeling, this act of love, to be inadequate.
Continue reading “What is the Meaning of Love”
I was up before the crack of dawn as was my routine. I fumbled about in the dark apartment readying myself for the day. I never turn on my lights in the mornings, it is simply too early for that. Taking a deep breath I unlocked the door and released myself into the embrace of pitch darkness. I stood still for a second, allowing my eyes to adjust. There were no street lights and no one in sight either – or at least none that I could see. They might have been enveloped in the darkness of the early morning. I started off on my way, walking as fast as I could. It was so dark that my shadow was a lighter apparition that seemed to float mid-air persistently right behind me.
I knew it was my shadow but it caused me to shiver.
The only sound I could hear was that of my feet as I darted to the bus station. Everything else was quiet. Just silence! At that wee hour of the morning only one thought ran through my usually busy mind. I desperately struggled to explain to myself this ridiculous undertaking. Why was it so vital that I accepted that job?
All reason escaped me.
I could not master a justifiable reason to explain what I found so appealing about being up at such an ungodly hour. The go-getter part of me must have forgotten to wake up that morning. Continue reading “Confessions From a Dreamer”
Too deep to turn back. Too deep to go forward.
Waters surround me. Whirl. Wind lashes at my face.
I scream. Breathless. Not a sound is made.
Why does the wind whirl around me tauntingly while the very wind is knocked out of me?
Around me waters dance while my feet—paralyzed to the ground.
But you are on the ninth cloud.
Joy on your face, on mine not a trace.
The air is sucked out of me,you breathe out sweet melodies.
I watch, wishing . . . wishing . . . No. I must not wish. Jealousy, please stay far away from me.
I may now be stuck and you free to love,
But in time the waters will part and there will be a way where there seems to be none.
At the twenty-ninth floor of a downtown office building, Jasmine pouted her lips resting her head against her left hand. Things could not get any worse. Her desk was littered with piles of untouched paperwork, files and several books. Several highlighters, pencils, a mechanical sharpener and a pink for-big-mistakes eraser, were all spread across the table in no precise order. It was an unholy mess, Continue reading “Part 2: Maybe Someday They Will Meet Again”
This past weekend, yesterday to be specific, was Mother’s day for the most part of the world. I had an amazing time with my mother and our family, and I want to believe that she had just as great a time as we all did in her honor.
When growing up we all go through a phase where your mother is always wrong or old school and has no idea what’s best for you. But then eventually we come to that wonderful place where mother Continue reading “How was your mother's day weekend?”
I wrote this poem when I was a teenager and posted it on an old blog that I wrote back in the day.
Reading through this old blog, I realized that as much as I am older now, some things are yet to change. When I wrote this poem, I was curious about love. To me, love was this bizarre emotion that transcended definition. I could never quite understand the concept of love. It was completely alien to me. I did not comprehend how one finds that special someone who becomes the best thing in their life. I wondered how one would know when they met someone worth keeping. I could not grasp the idea of being so certain about one’s feelings for another.
Continue reading “When the Soul Seeks”
They held hands and laughed heartily at each other’s jokes. Gazing deeply into his eyes she bit her lower lip. She was sure she was the happiest girl alive. He had never felt so ecstatic before. In his mind, he kept echoing to himself what now? He was torn. He knew what his heart wanted, it was literally yelling out the words at him, deafening his inner self. His body on the other hand was unwilling to take that leap of faith. He was stuck in that moment. Most of him was happy, too happy but that puny part of him was pained, an overwhelming pain. He could barely control it. He continued to cling onto her tender delicate hands, lost in the eyes that lovingly stared back at him. He was certain she was waiting. His heart bled for her and for himself, for he darn well knew exactly what was about to unfold before them. Still smiling, well he thought he was smiling, but his heart was swollen with anguish. He could take it no more. A thick tear cascaded down his face betraying his despondency. Confused, she took a step closer to him doing her best to read his face, his emotion. The confusion in her eyes was livid but she refrained to ask for she was afraid of his response. Instead she watched him, desperately trying to figure it out.
Slowly the beauty of the sunset was forgotten. The gentle music of the sea and the warm sand beneath their feet instantly became the last thing on their minds. They were lost in each other. Some place between bliss and torment. In frenzy he clutched at her arms and pulled her to himself crushing her fragile feminine lips against his rough sculpted ones. He then wrapped his arms around her and was gently stroking her hair. At that very moment she caught on and her eyes instantly welled up, hot stinging tears fighting for release. She hugged him back with a might she never thought she possessed. She was now aware of exactly what was about to happen, and it did. He pulled away from her. With a tiny crack of a smile at the corner of his lips he took a step back then glanced at her one more time, a slow lingering stare trying to take in as much of her as he could carry with him. Then he turned his back on her and walked away. She stood there staring behind him as he disappeared into the dusk. The silent sobs no longer so silent, her affliction was unbearable. She truly was overwhelmed. Her soft sobs slowly grew louder and the torment seemed to be crushing her. She crumbled, falling onto the warm sand where she lay for what felt like eternity.
About an hour later, she concluded that she was lucky to have loved. She decided it did not matter that she had met and lost him in almost no time yet he seemed to have been made just for her. He belonged in a different world but he loved her, and she him. She reminded herself that was all she ever wanted. Picking herself up and forcing a smile across her tear-stained face, she resolved to count her blessings rather than to mourn over spilt milk. And who knows maybe someday they will meet again.
What happens after your honeymoon? Everyone knows that every new relationship has that period when it is the most intoxicating with excitement, infatuation and full of energy. This phase is when you spend more time with each other than anyone else. During the honeymoon phase life is amazing, every moment is magical and happiness is never ending. Honeymoon phase can last for as long as 3 months to 1 year depending on the couples and their situation. I know mine lasted 6 months!
So in most relationships this is what happens after the honeymoon phase over
1) You stop laughing at their jokes and get easily irritated
2) You tell as it as without hesitation and considering their feelings
3) You stop trying so hard to impress
4) You slack off on communication and planning fun activities
5) You stop complimenting each other
……it’s a fact you can’t be in this phase forever. However, you can ensure that just because your honeymoon phase ends does not mean you relationship should be less intriguing, intoxicating and exciting. Im sure everyone have their ways of keeping the excitement in their relationship. My suggestion is that rather than pretend at the beginning of the relationship show your true self and try to enjoy each other just the way you are! after the “honeymoon phase” there will be no surprises and frustration because you have established your true self to your partner.
Also its very important to keep doing those exciting things that got you to love each other and ensure the chemistry is not lacking. One of the ways to keep the chemistry alive is to go on date nights, plan fun activites whenever possible and NEVER slack off on your appearance. Your appearance is very important the last thing you want is your partner to loose interest in you because you stopped trying. This applies to guys especially! because contrary to popular believe ladies love a good looking and well dressed guys. Communicating with each other about everything! After all their your life partner. Do not take each other for granted. It’s also good practice to remind each other how much you love and appreciate each other.
So this is what I have done in my relationship to keep it spicy 🙂 What do you ladies and gents do to keep the excitement in your relationship?
Falling in love! Falling in love is the easiest and most desirable aspect of building a connection with someone. A relationship, I dare say is the best and most difficult aspect of that connection. I like to think that “’love” and “relationships” only got complicated in the last 2-3 centuries thanks to the rise of civilization and modernization, which have had their positive and negative aspects on both. But that is a topic for another day.
My goal is to share my understanding of the difference between love and a relationship. Relationships and love are intertwined. However, it is possible to have one without the other. Continue reading “Falling in Love and Having a Relationship are Two Different things”