The Dating Game: When He’s Three Times Her Senior

a twenty-something year old dating a man probably in his sixties

There is a couple on my flight that just saddens my soul. The man is at least three times her senior. Why a young lady of nothing over the age of twenty-three would be dating an old white man, possibly in his sixties, is completely beyond me.

While I was visiting South Coast, Kenya, my driver once said, ‘hawa wazee wanachukuwa wasichana wetu wote’ (these old men are taking all our girls) -as if there is a gun to these ladies’ heads. Apparently this is a common occurrence in Mombasa’s dating scene. So why do they do it? Why is she with him? Is it in search of money? The possibility of relocation? The desire to have mixed babies? What?

Yes, I am judging her. I recognize that but I refuse to apologize. Perhaps you did not hear me the first time. This guy is at the least, THREE TIMES her senior!

As the man leans in for a kiss I see her cringe. She then looks around to confirm that she does not have an audience. Only she does, me -and a few others on the flight.

She and her significant other are seated to my left just across the aisle and one seat ahead. So I have a pretty good view. I’m supposed to be working on a book I’m writing, but their make-out session is a lot more captivating (grossly so).

She seems embarrassed and quite uncomfortable. The old man is apparently oblivious to both my audience and his girlfriend’s discomfort.

I am curious to understand what circumstances might have led her to believe that she deserved to be with a man that she is uncomfortable with. I do not know if it’s possible to fall in love with a man three times ones age -or even double. What I know is that when one is in love there should be no shame, no cringing, no hesitation-particularly once you’ve decided to be with the person.

Since these two are traveling together and the man insists on holding the poor girl’s hand, I can only conclude that they are an item. Therefore her discomfort causes me to question the reason she chose to commit when her heart is evidently not in it.

Is it really worth it? Selling yourself short for a possibility?

Author: Valerie

I am a storyteller, a writer. I post new articles every other Tuesday. Life is full of wonder. Life is beautiful. I love the uncertainty that comes with it. The ups and downs of living -its high points and low moments, the good times and the bad. I love it all. But what I love even more, is writing about it! I enjoy mentoring girls and young women. Nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing women rocking in whatever they pursue. My writing however, is in most cases unisex. There is a little something for everyone on all matters lifestyle. My most passionate topic areas include fulfilling my life goals (fighting procrastination), my relationship with money,  and self love (because no one else will know how you expect to be treated if you don't treat yourself right). And then there's travel, food, fashion and books. I have a Bachelor of Business Administration Degree (BBA). I also possess extensive experience  and education in communication studies. Welcome to my world. Comment, share and have some fun while you're at it. Are you looking for a creative writer? Or would you like to collaborate? Drop me an email at:

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